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A Starless Path

I guess I always knew growing up would be hard. I certainly ought to have known considering how often people told me. I’m finally starting to really get it though. As I try to decide what “grown-up” stuff I’m going to do this summer, I’m realizing that it’s way more complicated than just deciding. For example, one of my best friends wants an internship this summer. Great. However, he specifically wants one that is paid, near his family and friends, and that will teach him something valuable. Also fine. The problem is that lots of people want internships like that. In high school, we all got to be in high school. Sometimes we didn’t make a team or earn the best grade in a class, but it wasn’t really a big deal in the long run. If my friend can’t find an internship, he’s going to end up taking summer classes so that he can maintain productivity for the summer. But that would mean spending the entire summer away from home and also away from me.

I too have choices to make. I’d originally hoped to find an internship for the summer, but because I’m going abroad, my timing doesn’t line up with most internship programs. Instead, I’m going to try to test out of a couple classes. One of the classes I’d intended to test out of, though, OU doesn’t accept the CLEP test for. Now my 16 hour summer has dropped to a 13 hour summer. That’s still a lot of hours, but, at the same time, it’s not necessarily the best use of my time. I’m an economist so I’m always going to look at the opportunity cost when making a decision. Are a couple general education requirements worth giving up a summer’s worth of income and work experience? I don’t know anymore. How far behind will I fall in the long run if I fail to obtain this work experience now? I will never have a really free summer again. Study abroad trips and then graduation will interfere with all of them. This starless night is hemming me in. I cannot see the ground beneath me nor my path ahead of me. All I can hope for is that I can keep moving in the general right direction until dawn breaks and I can see my path once more.

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